When people find out that I lost 130 pounds, the first thing they ask is “How did you do it?” To answer that question is much longer than one post, but here is where I tell them it starts. It’s not your mouth, it’s your head. Anyone can lose weight by severely restricting calories, but to sustain your weight loss, you need to change your diet. You don’t want to be “on a diet”, you want to “eat a healthy diet”. And for that to happen, you need to understand and change your relationship with food.
What does that mean? Well, most people who struggle with weight, over eat or eat unhealthy for a reason that is other than hunger. In my case, it was simply that I was exposed to bad eating habits growing up and I carried those habits with me. That’s not to say that my family are terrible, I love them! But I come from a family of big eaters and big drinkers. Some of us exercise enough that weight doesn’t become an issue, and some of us don’t. Some of us have changed our diets over time to be healthier, and some haven’t. That’s not the point. The point is, I had to realize that my relationship with food was unhealthy because I was propagating those habits, and then change those habits. My relationship with food went from, eating and drinking anything I wanted and as much as I wanted, to eating healthy and almost no alcohol. I’m not hungry and I still enjoy what I eat, and I feel great.
In my opinion, I have one of the easier food relationships to address. I just needed to reeducate myself and change some habits. However, there are much more serious issues around food relationships such as people who use food as a replacement for love, or as a defense mechanism. As an example, some people eat because they were abandoned, and they could always count on food to be there and comfort them. Others eat because they were sexually abused, and they think being overweight will make them less attractive to a predator. Many of these types of issues fall under eating disorders and must be addressed in order to change your relationship with food in a healthy way. The mind needs to be addressed first.
The great news is that you are not alone! There are many places to get the help that you need and get back on track. The National Institute of Mental Health is a great place to start.
The next area that you need to understand, and address is “triggers”. Again, this starts in the head. After sitting and analyzing my eating habits, I realized that when I drank alcohol, I binge ate. So not only was I getting the empty calories from drinking, I was doubling down with really crap food even if I wasn’t hungry. Drinking and eating went together for me. Once I grasped that, I made sure that I put controls around my drinking. I went from drinking moderately most weekends and some weeknights, to I rarely drink alcohol at all now. And when I do, it’s usually a beer or a glass of wine. This has made a huge difference in my calorie intake.
What are your triggers? Is it stress? Is it boredom? My experience was that I knew my triggers, but I had to admit them to myself. This is work that has to be done, because your triggers normally are the pathways to your underlying issues. I’m not going to tell you it is easy, but it is achievable. And if it is something that you need help with, I suggest you go get. I know it can be scary, but change is always scary. On the other side of that fear is your dreams though, so be brave and get help.
Once I recognized that I was simply following the pattern that I had been exposed to, and took the time to reeducate myself on nutrition, the scale started moving in the right direction. And when I removed the “trigger” of alcohol and stopped binge eating, not only did the scale continue to move in the right direction, it became sustainable. Finally, as my weight came down and I started to feel great, running went from exercise to a passion. Not being hungry, feeling great, and pursuing a passion, sounds like something I can do for a long time!
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