Just the other day I was reminded of why I do not watch much TV. On the news, they said that a youth soccer league in South Carolina has banned parents from making any noise when they watch their children play. They cannot cheer, they cannot yell instructions at their kid, they simply cannot make a sound. They have to sit in silence. Does anyone else find this insane? I understand what the league is trying to do, they are trying to avoid parents having fist fights in the stands and helping the coaches out by not allowing parents to “coach” from the stands. I coached my fair share of Recreational League Soccer, and I understand how difficult it is for the child when the parents are telling them to do something different then the coach.
But here is the thing. Like so much in the world today, 5% to 10% of the people are ruining things for everyone else. I don’t agree with the league’s decision to handle things this way, but I definitely can see why they feel the need to act. However, why not hire police to be at every game, explain to the parents that their fees will go up and why, and that at any moment, a referee or coach can have you removed by the police if you get out of control. And, if things get physical, arrest people. Has society really degenerated to the point that we are physically assaulting each other over a children’s game?
When I coached, I literally met with the parents before the season started and said “Look, I want this to be a great season for everyone, but especially the kids. Please refrain from coaching your kids from the stands because we may have a different view as to what they should be doing and we don’t want to create confusion. If you want to discuss tactics, we will take you on as an assistant coach because we need all of the help we can get.” By the way, we only had one volunteer! Then I would discuss with the parents how we wanted our team to be represented. We expected our parents to treat everyone on our team with dignity and support, and we wanted to do the same for our competitors. I never had a problem.
During coaching meetings when the other coaches would discuss their “problem” children, I would tell them that I never met a bad kid, but I have met my fair share of bad parents. Or maybe a better way to put it, is parents who behaved badly. Either way, by not letting parents cheer for their children, or the other team, we are basically removing an opportunity to teach sportsmanship from the game, and to allow the kids to feel energized by the crowd for their hard work. It is simply ridiculous.
The bottom line is that these leagues should not even have to discuss this issue because parents should show up to these games and act like adults. It doesn’t take a real man or woman to berate children, coaches, referees, or other parents. It just shows how immature you are and you are setting a terrible example for the kids. A real man or woman would cheer and support the entire organization. It is a lot of work to organize, coach, referee, and lead these children in a constructive way, and the majority of the people doing it are not getting paid or are getting paid very little for their time.
Most importantly, this is supposed to be a fun time for the children, where they can make friends, create memories, learn skills and sportsmanship, and start to understand what is required to get results and maintain a healthy lifestyle. The ENTIRE thing should be about the KIDS, not the adults. If you want to help, volunteer to coach or car pool, and always be a positive presence at any game whether it’s for your child or the opponent. Lead by example for other children, and I cannot believe I am going to say this, but for the other parents as well. We have enough tool bags in the world, we certainly don’t need another one. PEACE Joe the Runner
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