This is a very difficult topic to dance around, and I had real reservations about posting it, because like the title implies, there is a delicate balancing act here, and it could go either way. Ultimately I decided that it was better to post this and then, if there was a discussion, facilitate it. I hope that the article is taken in the vain that it is meant and that if a discussion ensues, it is a compassionate and adult one. Peace. Joe the Runner.
As a father trying to raise four young women in this world, I understand how hard it is to instill confidence in them. I want them all to be strong, pursue their dreams, and above all else, love themselves and be happy. You try and do what you can. You tell them how beautiful and amazing they are; support them unconditionally in sports, dance, academics, and whatever else comes up. But the world we live in today makes it a very difficult job. Media highlights unrealistic body images that are airbrushed and enhanced, and it is way too easy for people to treat each other disgracefully behind the anonymity of a keyboard. It’s all very frustrating at times!
So I understand when I see people who applaud others for showing off their bodies regardless of the size or the shape. People come in different sizes, and we should never shame or abuse other people, but as a father I also have to look at the other side of the coin. In other words, yes I want my daughters to love themselves despite any flaws they may have, but I also need to have a conversation with them about living a healthy life style.
What I am trying to say is that there are consequences to obesity, and while we should always approach people with love and caring, it is irresponsible to not discuss the fact that obesity can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and many other medical calamities that you would not want someone you love to have to deal with. I believe that we need to shift the topic of body image to living a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want my girls to be thin so that they look good, I want them to eat healthy and exercise and let their bodies respond. If that means that some of my girls are a little curvy, or a little thin, or a little whatever, as long as they are healthy and happy, then I am happy. I know thin people who are unhealthy due to poor lifestyle choices and slightly overweight people who are healthy due to good lifestyle choices.
We have gotten to a point where we are so politically correct that we are afraid to discuss topics like adults and that has virtually eliminated the “pragmatic middle”. Society shouldn’t be focused on thigh gaps and rib cages and in an attempt to highlight that, embrace a lifestyle that may be equally unhealthy, such as being overweight. It seems that it is always the two extremes. The conversation that we should be having is this. “Life is a journey and no one is perfect. Be kind to yourself and love yourself, and constantly try to improve. Don’t obsess over your weight and your looks, but don’t ignore them either. Not for the superficial reason of looking good in a bathing suit, but for the physical reason of living a healthy life style and feeling good.”
My girls, and all of their friends, are beautiful, strong, young women. I wouldn’t want any of them to ever be ridiculed or bullied by anyone; ever. In a way, I feel like I’ve been a father to all of them at one point or another. What I’d like to see for all of them, is that they eat REAL food, not processed, and get some exercise four to five times a week, so they can minimize the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Be happy, and love yourselves as much as we parents love you… You’re perfect just the way you are.
I hope that this post and this blog helps you achieve your dreams! To receive new post notifications, newsletters, and post previews, please SUBSCRIBE!
For behind the scenes photos and comments on my training and personal life, follow me on Instagram: joe_the_runner Strava: Joe Randene
Questions, comments, feedback? Please leave them in the comments section BELOW and we can have a discussion!
This is such a powerful post and a topic that I have also struggled with for a long time. Our society encourages obesity in so many ways and the question isn’t whether or not a big body is beautiful, it’s whether or not a person living in an obese body is healthy and thriving. The politically correct way to address obesity is far from compassionate when you consider what is at risk by not urging someone who is overweight to change their diet and adopt a more active lifestyle. True compassion is caring enough to help someone face the facts and help them to change their ways and become healthy so they can enjoy a better quality of life.
Arabelle, maybe you should write the blog! You nailed exactly what I was trying to say here, and as a male, I think it’s even tougher to dance around. I want my girls to be balanced and love themselves. I don’t want them to try and attain an unrealistic standard set by the media, but I don’t want them to believe that it’s healthy to be obese. It’s a very tricky issue and one that I think other fathers probably struggle with as well.